Pathetic! (aka Entry Menyek-menyek)

These past few days, this old song has been repeated over and over again in my car's stereo and my beloved iPod. The refrain stays in my head, and I often find myself humming it -- even singing it out loud in the restroom, in front of the mirror, with ..er.. "that" expression. Usually when nobody is nearby. At times I don't even bother if a co-worker is apparently sharing the space and flashes me "that" look -- you know, curiousity, ready to spread a news around. I'd just give him/her a wicked smile.

Send me a lover
Someone to believe in
Please send me someone that I can hold

Yes, perhaps it's the time of the year again. When summer is almost ever and the sun smiles tenderly. In only a few weeks, the whole town will breeze up, the sky will be gloomy, and beautiful, colorful trees will indulge our eyes, embracing us with serenity.

And there is an emptiness inside. Of that feeling.

It's not just the physical proximity, having someone's arm around me and mine around him, hearing his heartbeat when I lay my head on his chest, seeking warmth from his body. Or walking through the falling leaves, holding hands, laughing, and exchanging kisses and quick pecks.

Neither is it about listening to a voice a thousand miles apart, blurting sweet words and affections and promises. Reading sentences of love on my tiny cellular phone or the computer's monitor which makes me smile and blush and my eyes dreamy.

It's the sense of belonging, closeness, missing. They're nowhere now. It doesn't hurt, but it is saddening.

Send me a lover
A new beginning
Someone to take away the cold
And give me back what I've been missing
All the love that lays and waits inside your heart

Except, "you" is a blank line.