A friend recently confided to me she’s been interested in blogging, but is hesitant to start it, worried of how others will view it, and frightened she’ll have to deal with a big tide of harsh criticisms, or even mockeries, for her less-than-fantastic grammar.

I told her she needs not afraid of grammar critics, because:

a) Unless she invites people to take a peek at her blog (e.g., puts her blog address on her Facebook page, tells her friends about it, etc.), chances are it will be only her and a handful of accidental visitors who are aware of the existence of the blog.

b) Bloggers are generally pretty generous to newcomers; grammar correctness is usually the last thing they’ll be concerned about (particularly in Indonesia’s blogosphere). It is the content that might prompt comments – be it nice words or ugly condemns.

c) If one’s blog is criticized heavily for the grammar incorrectness, most of the times grammar isn’t the main issue. It might be the subject, the idea, or the personality of the blogger as perceived by reader(s).

Of course, one might argue that a blog cannot be considered the representative of the blogger – a renowned Indonesian blogger once claims that only 5% of her personality is reflected in her blog. Should that be the case, the blogger then ought to always, always, ALWAYS take any comment on his/her blog with a grain of salt – or even with their tongue in cheek. After all, once you decide to make your blog public (there’s an option to make it private, right?), you open your front door to a battalion of predators. To keep your sanity level in check you need to remember that THIS.IS.ONLY.A.VIRTUAL.WORLD (don’t take it too seriously) and strengthen your sense of humor.

On the other hand, the blogosphere is also the place where you will meet likeminded people, those very possibly will be good friends – maybe even become your other half – in the future. I met some of my closest friends here and I can’t be more grateful for that :).

I saw you lying there, helpless. Your hair was white. You were awfully way smaller than you used to be: only bones wrapped in a thin layer of wrinkled skin. You had never been fat despite a hint of beer tummy (you never drank beer, though, as far as I remember). At times you made gestures, uncontrollably. The doctor said you were unconscious, yet you let out a cry of pain. It hurts me to see you like that. I softly stroked your arm, your leg, while whispering words of encouragement. I wasn’t sure you heard me. I didn’t even have tears by then, unlike some of the other girls. But I was torn apart inside.

You don’t know how much I cursed myself for not calling you when I heard you had been ill. My (un)famed ignorance took the best of me as usual, taking it for granted that you were “just too tired of work”.

But it was work indeed that consumed you. Your doctors apparently had warned you to take things slowly since your body – your liver, in particular – had not functioned properly. Some say you hated going to doctors (and you didn’t exactly trust them). So of course you didn’t get the regular general check up as strongly advised by your American physician. I must say I admire your wife greatly, for her strength all this time.

The last time we hung out together in a group lunch was exactly the last time we met prior to this. You looked very normal. It was only a few months ago. Surely at that time the cancer had been spreading throughout your body, and YOU.KNEW.THAT.

Damn you for not even hinting about that! Damn you for hiding it! What was wrong with you???? You were not supposed to work even slightly hard (and YOU.KNEW.THAT) yet you stayed at the office until very late, traveled a lot, attended all those meetings! Were you trying to get the posthumous promotion aka kenaikan pangkat anumerta? Did you think our big boss care about that? I’m not sure he even knows your name!

Funny, being a workaholic, you actually like outdoor activities. I envied you once for being able to explore those cute East Coast towns during weekends, since I felt my days off had been practically robbed by the series of events I had to attend thanks to my line of work. But you and your wife took me to one of your ‘Civil War pilgrimage’ (you were crazy about the Civil War period) and I had a great time. Oh, and if it hadn’t been you, I wouldn’t have visited the first colony across the Harper’s Ferry. Thank you for sharing that with me. You would enthusiastically show off your Civil War scrapbook to anyone who would listen to you. (Well, we had to as we were served lunch in your apartment! :)).

Remember when you, Renata, Wawan, and I went to the Wolf Barn for Jewel’s show straightly from the office? That was our first time going there, none of us made a research before, so it shouldn’t have been surprising that we were salah kostum. Everyone else but us wore casual outfit, shorts and T-shirts and jeans, and carried blankets or folding chairs and baskets with sandwiches and wine. We were quite lucky that I (ahem) happened to bring a sheet of plastic tablecloth. I’m sure we looked like morons: working suit clad people sitting on a plastic sheet, watching Jewel performing on an outdoor stage.

I had to thank you too, in particular, for helping me finding a right place for the ASEAN picnic. That was a perfect spot, at the bank of a small lake. ASEAN people had a great time together in DC, and disputes in their own respective territories. Can we call it the sweet irony?

A couple of years working together with you, in combination with genuine friendship all along, are irreplaceable. While praying for you, I’m thinking of those times. I pray that God release you from your pain, and I wish that it also means seeing you around for more years to come. Yes, your cancer is in stadium 4, but God is more powerful than those cells He creates.

But if He decides to call you home, I can only say goodbye, wish you a peaceful trip to Heaven, and thank Him for letting me know you and befriend you. Love you, buddy.

Addendum: I got the news that you left this morning. Zai jian, mon ami. May you rest in peace.

1. I thought the writers’ rally had ended last year. The 2009 Grammy Award’s script has been the worst I’ve seen in years! Presenters never sounded so lame. Crapfest.

2. I love Whitney Houston. But how come she decided to get high in the Grammy night, on stage? Girl, save that for the after party!

3. Nice effort, Rock... er... Dwayne. Just remember that only a very few people can be offensive and funny at the same time. You were certainly not one of them.

4. What did Katy Perry try to say with the fruity trapeze gal outfit? Her cherry Chapstick?

5. Jennifer Hudson is a pretty good singer, but I couldn’t help suspecting her Grammy was a generous consolation gift.

6. I almost burst into tears too when Adele cried accepting her Grammy. It’s so amazing that we’re built alike.

7. I couldn’t stand Miley Cyrus’s screechy voice, but her collaboration with Taylor Swift surprisingly excelled my expectation. She should always, ALWAYS, stick to lower notes. Taylor Swift has been this year’s wunderkind – no wonder Miley called her “my best friend”. I wish I could say the same thing about Obama and kept a straight face.

8. Sir Paul McCartney was the highlight of the night. How old is he, 70? Those way younger musicians didn’t hold a candle to him. Not even when they bring the whole marching band team on stage. And you think you only see parades on the streets. I would really love to rain on this one!

9. Lastly, with all due respect to the night’s “power couple”, their names Plant and Krauss somehow reminded me to my grocery list.

Obama's victory is indeed an historical moment, it deserves the honor to be the "break the curse" post in this long-neglected blog.

Forgive me if I'm not cheering along with his supporters and -- I suspect -- the majority of Indonesians. Obama is a good man, and despite my first sentence in this paragraph, for these past few weeks I agreed wholeheartedly with anyone predicting his win. On the other hand, had not there been the Wall Street crash and gigantic corporates collapses, his chances would've been a pretty tough call.

I am still quite happy with his winning, though, because it will gear positive sentiment in the market. My dad, a small number player (but he puts half his savings there!), might be able to finally smile again -- although I won't count on it.

I am also full of hopes with his foreign policy, particularly on the Middle East issues. Many Israelis seeing Obama as "unfriendly towards Israel" alone amuses me -- I am one of that larger group of Christians who can't stand the Israelis. That does not necessarily resonates with the truth, let alone constitutes Obama's attitude towards the Jewish groups and their powerful lobbyists. Obama is indeed viewed by many Jewish voters as sending mixed signals in light of the Israel-Palestine conflict and practically every other threat to Israel. Even if history showed that Jewish swing voters (that is, the so-called independent Jewish) tend to go Democratic, Obama's strikingly different background from the previous Democratic presidential candidates might have as well turned them away. The results have shown otherwise, of course. And this should not be regarded by all means as the evidence that there is a new generation of American Jewish, who have given up the idea of Israel claiming sole authority over Jerusalem. But rather a behavior shaped by past experience that any White House incumbent - Republican or Democratic - can never snub the Jews.

Obama's taking the seat in Oval Office does not also guarantee a friendlier US's policy to Indonesia. Obama never denied his Indonesian background, nor has he been gracious in complimenting Indonesia - if he ever has. In fact, during his campaign, he had tried to steer away from any association to Indonesia. His time in Indonesia serves only as a fact, though it did help him a lot in dealing with other cultures. But yeah, why should I be cynical to the Indonesians who are ecstatic for his win or early on formed Facebook groups to support Obama?

And like I said, I have the good reason to thank Obama: he made me write again.

Ugh.. by the way, did anyone also notice the similarity between Obama and our very own SBY? They both like to use their hands when speaking.

Senator John Edwards finally admitted that he had committed an affair in 2006, which was brought to public by the National Enquirer, and which was denied by him a couple of times. He was basically saying that a sensational news in a trashy tabloid was actually true.

National Enquirer may be trashy indeed. The thing is, often times they reported actual incidents. I remember last year they disclosed that the Disney Channel, squeaky-clean image, star Vanessa Hudgens had had nude pictures. Vanessa was smart enough to confirm the news timely, made a press statement about how regretful she was, and it didn't take very long for her to clear the air. Edwards could've learnt a thing or two from the teenager.

And perhaps I should eye gossip tabloids, internet rumors, and the so-called infotainments differently, at least with less judgments. Who would know, right?

On the other hand, however, Edwards might not have had the luxury of time (or timing, to be exact) that Vanessa did. He was in the presidential candidacy race.

This is what I despise most in cases where one messes up his/her personal life and that is used to judge his/her professionalism. As much as I hated Bill Clinton's infidelity, I thought (and still think) that some Congresspeople notion for his impeachment was beyond stupid. I don't know how bad the affair news affected Edwards' chances, though. He was against two way stronger contenders, so perhaps it wasn't even one of the factors.