How to Get A Mate (in a Shallow Way)

Sondi The Sontoloyo Guy has posted a series of tips on "How to Get a Guy". Reading it, I was both a bit disturbed and amused. Here they are:

1.Have long hair. A Typical man like to see woman with a long hair.If a long haired woman walk in front of a may, man tend to like to see her face.

2. Be clean and smell nice. Woman who have a clean body and nice smell tend to get a man attention.You don't have to bathe yourself with perfume,but smell nice is not a pain also.

3. Work yourself out. Nice and lean body will increase the chance a man will look at you.So shake your bun...hun !

4. Wear nice outfit. Try to wear the outfit that you look best, it doesn't have to be open everywhere but make sure it show's the best of you.It doesn't have to be expensive also.

5. Read books and learn new things. It's true that most men only see woman from physical appearance,but woman with ample of knowledge sure can make a man feel comfortable with.Especially when woman know the world of man (mechanics,Sports,games and Science).It's really a plus sign for man.

6. Increase your self-respect and throw your self-pity attitude. It's a soft skill a woman must master if she want's to get a man for herself.Woman tend to wait for something to come then act more agressively.

Finally, in getting a man you must use your will and your wit alone."

I already got his permission to put them all here. The reason I do it is because I want to share with you readers my comment to this bloody post.

I came up with a new list of tips on "How to Get a Girl":

1. Be tall, light-colored skinned, well built (spend quality time at the gym always works, babe).

2. Bring your expensive car.

3. Show off your platinum credit cards.

4. Carry expensive gadgets (iPods, PDAs, 8.0 MPixel cameras, Nokia 9500s, iBooks) but fix a "I'm-more-technologically-advanced-than-ordinary-Indonesians-and-I-don't-care-if-people-can-see-that" look on your face. More importantly, pretend that you don't realize people are staring at those gadgets.

5. Drink WINE or CHAMPAGNE (not beer, mind you!)

6. Quote -- or even better, invent -- a joke and make everyone laugh their hearts out.

7. Say "hi" to everyone you bump into, especially when you are in a popular crowd (celebrities and stuff). Believe me, even the famous people LOVE it when they are recognized :P.

8. Have, in your car, at least one thick book about business, management, leadership -- any title that indicates you are somehow in a management level.

In short: STYLE, STYLE, STYLE.

Hehehehe...

I should like to conclude this by sending message to that special guy out there, who might read this as well:

It's not me, Sayang. It's my dark side. And certainly my shallow one. But I am into you, you know. Peace!

9 comments:

sontoloyo said...

Huahahhahahahah...buat yayangnya ellen, biasanya apa yang tidak terucapkan adalah kejujuran yang hakiki....jadi siap2 beli PDA,IPod dan Fitness (jangan lupa drink Champagne..dan credit cardnya di upgrade dong mas).
emang shallow banget deh ellen...ck...ck....ck.....kaga disangka.

PEACE !!

mellyana said...

har har...read this!

btw, itu juga berlaku buat cowoklah

Dinda said...

HAR...HAR...HAR...!!!
tambahan satu lagi: "KONSISTEN" dengan style ituuuu!! wakwakwkak! (mode bloody-second-date gw masih on nih kayaknya!)

Boe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Boe said...

Wooii ... protes nih !! Apa hubungannya joke quoting (not to mention joke inventing, that highly serious and risky brain activity) ama 'style'?

yang punya said...

sondi: wah, kamu itu emang semprul :P

melly: kekekkekeke... emang iya sih... cowok2 jaman sekarang gitu loh!

dinda: seems like u haven't got over ur nightmare date, hahahha..

boe: loh, humor itu penting, mister! bukannya kamu nulis di blogmu?

dodY said...

aduuhh.. kalo ngga modal ngga bisa dapet dunk :)

Little Sis said...

Wakakaka....
I'm 100% agreed with u Sis. B4 man comes with their "how to get a man" things, they have to read your "how to get a girl" 1st!!!!
For every man out there, here comes the women century dude!!!

kéré kêmplu said...

ooo gitu ya? hmmm battle of the sexes emang selalu seru :)