Soul Mate

Aristotle once said: "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies".

Amanda Beesley Weinstock seems to share this notion by concluding that a soul mate is: "... a person with whom you can communicate on the deepest level -- beyond words, beyond our clothing and imperfect bodies, regardless of time and age and the awkward agreements we reach. And when you meet someone who warms to what's buried beneath your surface, who sees and celebrates the essence of who you are without your having to explain it over soggy breakfasts and late-night negotiations, you have found a soul mate."

Furthermore, "Soul mates don't have to be about sex or marriage. The soul doesn't care about all that stuff, about a person's taste in restaurants or flossing habits or ability to argue a point. All it wants -- whether we owners know it or not -- is the company of other like-minded souls."

I can't agree more. In fact, this really reflects my own thinking. (Makes me wonder whether Amanda and I are actually soul mates, hehehehehe...).

While soul mates are often associated with spouses, partners or boyfriends/girlfriends, many find that their soul mates are those who others (or perhaps even the person him/herself!) will never think of fitting this soul mate stereotype. What I mean is, one may find his/her soul mates in their cyberfriends, blogpals, colleagues, or even the abang becak or pak ojek who rides him/her to work everyday.

In my entire 32 years of life I've had a handful of close friends and best friends (of both sexes), as well as a less number of guypals. I could say so far there are two people that I can freely declare as my soul mates.

One is a longtime best friend/choir mate whose birthday is only two days before mine. I don't believe in astrology, so I never give a crap about those zodiac things. We have a lot in common. We were both avid choir singers, we share similar values, and it took only a few months before we became inseparable (though there were two other wonderful girls in our circle of friends). Over the years, we didn't really need words to communicate. We had embarked on the state of being comfortable with each other's presence. I could go over to her house when she was taking her nap, and just read or watched TV there without feeling that I had bothered her or broken in her privacy. The same goes in reverse. She could even sleep on my parents' bed when she stayed over. After I moved to Jakarta, and she moved to her father's hometown, we barely contacted each other. And since I came here, I never called her. But she is always on my mind, and I know that I am in hers. We will never blame each other for not trying to contact, because once we meet again we will act like we were never separated before.

The other is an ex-boyfriend, and interestingly my first boyfriend. During those hot days (ahahahha...!) we could spend more than 10 hours a day, 4 days a week. I still remember, however, how relaxed I was around him. Not only didn't I need to worry about my makeup running out or if I have a bad hair day, but we could be together in silence without feeling awkward -- you know, like you have to say something. He could be there reading newspapers or watching TV, and I sat next to him or in other corner doing something else. On the other hand, we could also talk for hours. I remember, my mom once commented that we look like a longtime married couple (excuse me, not physical wise!). Although I don't have that desire for him anymore now, but the thought of him is always warming, for he's a truly nice and sincere guy. I pray that he will always be happy wherever he is. First love never dies? I doubt it.

I don't have to say a word to you
You seem to know whatever mood I'm going through
Feel as though I've known you forever
You can look into my eyes and see the way I feel
And how the world is treating me
Maybe I have known you forever

How about your soul mates?


mellyana said...

I found one soulmate, a male one, we just so "click". When I met him, he is engaged with someone. We know how we feel for each other, but it didn't change a fact that I have a lover too at the other continent :) Well, he is a father of a beautiful baby girl, and we still have a strong feeling of each other, we just know what the other feeling without even texted each other!

Juga untuk satu temen cewek gue, yang persis banget seperti yang diceritain lenje. Gak usah pake omongan sama sekali. Kadang, otak kita kayaknya selalu mikir hal yang sama, bahkan seringkali sakit pada saat yang sama! Azaib banget deh

Apey said...

Lenje...if u read my blog name "i found my diamond" there's he soulmate. Although he just doesn't change anything for how we together connected at the first place. Like I said, that we're grown up wanna be couple..just the way it is..we always try to reflecting anything happen around us. He's been said to me that "I can see me in you, and you can see you in me" we just mirror each other..gosh! for me what's on this earth nicer than that ??!!

yang punya said...

mel: then soulmates do exist! :). when this strong bond is between a man and a woman, can we also refer it as a platonic relationship?

mon: hehehhehe... ternyata dia toh. well, soulmates are bliss indeed! :)

Boe said...

Instead of terming it a platonic relationship ... let's call it aristotelian relationship :)
kriuk ... garing ... maksa pula ! >_<

chia said...

i believe in suolmate..
i hev a really close friend. her name is muty.. last day i met her at my campus, and she stay in my house til the next day.. in that time, i realized that we're very different person, she stay conventional and i a bit radical, but i can find a sparkling-smiling feeling when i met her, no i'm not a lesbian, but i can find another part of my life inside her.. she can said somthing that i've denied..
thank God i found her as one of my best friend..

casta said...

to me a soulmate means a person who really match to you in a way like fingers of 2 hands meets each other n make hands like praying .so it probably between 2 people w/ 2 different character.

'ka said...

you know what? i completely agree with you 100%... i read about this kinda thing long time ago...

somehow people have the perception that they only have 1 soulmate (and somehow that person will be the 1 they're gonna marry)... in fact, each person might have more than 1 soulmate and not necessarily the 1 they're going to marry... :)

Sontoloyo said...

Soulmate suppose to be somebody who can share a thought without a words ?
Well, if that's the point then i'm one Heaven of a Lucky guy...i know about 3 or 4 people who could really know me.without saying a single words.Just the pressence of them makes me feel the world is much lighter to get along with.
I believe in soulmate...i really do.
Thank you for sharing it ^_^