Nature's Call?

Lately I've had the strangest feeling. (Quoting Mr. Richie).

I want my own offspring.
I'm dreaming of taking care of a newborn, my flesh and blood. The apple of my eye.
I'm picturing myself going home in a rush, can hardly wait to see the cute little one in need of my help, my arms, my very presence.

Nature's call? Maybe. Funny, because I thought I've past that stage. Well, though I've always liked children and babies, I don't think I'm mature enough -- mental wise -- to be a good mom (despite my "mature" age), hehehe... I'm the poster girl for disorganization, for a start! I've always had this firm belief that parents should be role models for their children -- and with me being a careless person and everything else, how could I fulfill this task? (Oh, this thought is already so depressing!)

Second, I still can't figure out how I'm going to have one. Tube baby? Sperm donor? Or the more exciting, traditional way: one night of fun. The latter one is so tempting, but that would definitely be the last choice - I've to make sure that I'm fertile at that time and it has to be safe. Chances are, I have to find a virgin, which is even rarer in my age group, and I might end up getting busted for devirginizing an underager!

I haven't even given a thorough observation on the social factor: our so-called values. Our hypocrite society is still totally resentful of a single women conceiving her own baby. And I am not so much of a breakthrough person. Not yet.

Of course, I could always opt for the safest, and the most noble choice: adopting a child of a disadvantaged family. But why oh why this option doesn't really attract me? Hm, perhaps I've lost my compassion.

I've even come to lunatic ideas, like putting on a banner in my friendster page: "WANTED: A MAN TO BEGET A BABY. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. CALL 202*******". I don't have to spare some time to write down an ad, prospective males can already check out my profile. Or simply accept the first marriage proposal, ANY marriage proposal. Huhuhu. Things that I wouldn't normally do, ever.

But, who knows? I completely understand how impulsive I can be at times! Though, like all other moodswingers in the world, I could regret it later, hehehe...